"Am I to blame?" by Anonymous

Little hands
And little feet
No one stopped to consider
The future they were to meet.
Feet kept moving
And hands stretched out
Out there someone cared
But this has left only doubt.

Many days I wondered
Many weeks I dreamed
Many months I cried your name
And asked the question:
Am I to blame?

Memories of fights
Internal scars
I closed my door and
Sought the comfort of music bars.
Forced to look at a picture
Just to see your face
A smoking brain and a racing heart
Pondered on how you'd left without a trace.

Many days I wondered
Many weeks I dreamed
Many months I cried your name
And asked the question:
Am I to blame?

I pray to God
To make it stop.
I'd ask him to make
The pressure drop.
I prayed that you
Were okay.
As a 5 year-old
This to the Lord I'd pray.

Many days I wondered
Many weeks I dreamed
Many months I cried your name
And asked the question:
Am I to blame?

I never stopped praying;
Never stopped pleading.
When my time with you was over-
Again my heart would start bleeding.
When we spoke over the phone
There was no doubt about it
The message in your voice was blame,
But nevertheless I found strength in my shame.

Many days I wondered
Many weeks I dreamed
Many months I cried your name
And asked the question:
Am I to blame?